Longing

I think everyone is familiar with the feeling of longing. That fire in our bellies that isn't burning at full blast, but is a slowly stoked flame that drives us either into desperation or despair. I don't know what direction this longing is telling me to do - but I do know that it told me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keys!) and talk about it.

Last week I planned out my blog. I created this whole big spreadsheet...which is huge for me because I don't like spreadsheets and I am the biggest ENFP/enneagram7/type B personality you could ever find. I have other tools in my business that help me organize, but spreadsheets really are not one of them.

So this spreadsheet tells me what I am to write every Tuesday and Thursday. And I planned out the topics until the end of February (because really who wants to write about something in August that you thought up in December). I do this for consistency, I do this for accountability, I do this for my own scatterbrain.

But one thing I can't help but shake is just letting this scatterbrain let her do her scattered thing. To give her space to write what is on her heart...and I think I'll let her do just that.

Monday - a day I'm 'not suppose to write'...I am slated to work on a logo project, a Showit Design, and brainstorm some marketing ideas. But I found myself thrown off track (it involved a spilled glass of milk, a spoiled almond milk smoothie, and ended in bacon and eggs that could make any wrong day right). My journal at my side, and my "Write the Word" journal (get one here, it has changed my life) open - I found myself with a feeling of longing. Of what, I'm not sure...but it involved God.

I hesitate to talk about God sometimes because I don't want to push people away. I don't want you to judge me...for how spiritual or unspiritual I am. But I can't help it. I have to talk about this part of myself that is feeding this fire in my belly.

I flipped up a few of my favorite blogs that always give me a little boost in terms of my spirituality. Encouragement to listen smaller or harder...peace that I am not alone in this pursuit. But I couldn't find any of those same whispers or voices that give me that God Boost.

And it made me think...I want to know what you're longing for. I want to know what fire is in YOUR belly. Is it a baby, a new house, a new job, time alone, time together? What is it?

Because when we are open hearted and honest about things sometimes, that open door lets healing in. It makes things happen. When you send that longing out into the universe, it lets relief in.

What are you longing for?