timing.

The other day I was walking home from the gym and was thinking about the timing of everything. Our next Call, when people die, when babies are born, when our babies will be born. What if the time isn't right? I found myself making a deal with God;"Ok God, how about when I loose 30 pounds and we have money to move into a house, then we can have a baby?" or "Ok God, I'd be okay having a baby next summer. After the marathon." or "Ok God, we can move to X city once we're done with Y."I felt God say "Yep, okay. You know I already know when 'that' time is. I made it that way."I felt silly.Of course God knows. He knows. Just because he does. And He lets me think me in my tiny little world down here, I have control over it. But gently reminds me that I don't.Timing has always been a fear factor in my life - what if it's not the right time to buy this? To go on this trip? To make this huge decision? The saving Grace to my anxious flippity flop of a mind is that GOD orchestrates the timing. He has the big picture.The most moving image I always find rest in is that of a tapestry weaver and overseer in a sermon I heard a while back. As the overseer is calling out the orders to progress on the weaving of this intricate tapestry, one of the weavers makes a mistake. He stops to apologize but the overseer says to keep going. As the tapestry is nearing completion, the weaver is getting more and more upset about his mistake. Now this piece, which was suppose to be beautiful, intricate, orderly, and cohesively designed - will be ruined with the flaw of the glaring mistake he has made. As the tapestry is finished, the weaver takes a step back to the overseer's perspective - and he cannot believe his eyes. The overseer, who had full perspective the whole time, has taken the mistake in the weaving and made it the centerpiece of the tapestries design - its result is more beautiful than the original. What was thought to be an error in the work flow has now made this tapestry turn out to be grander than it's original design.We cannot see the timing - the beauty that God is weaving in the tapestry of our life We are working so close, so focused in the threads that we forget that we do not see God taking our mistakes, taking our choices, and making them into something we could have never dreamed it could be.